“Help!”: Sea Changes (Kifo Island Chronicles Volume 1) for WIPpet Wednesday

Welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a weekly blog hop which encourages writers to move WIPs (works-in-progress) to publication by posting excerpts related to the date.We're led by the capable fingers and nimble mind of Emily Witt

It’s been almost two weeks since the election (I’m writing this on Monday, because I tend to think I have all the time in the world...and then, suddenly, I’m running late with, well, everything!) We’re getting a better idea about what the next few years will bring.

It doesn’t look very pretty from here, and I can’t say I’m surprised. As a native upstate New Yorker, I’ve known most of my life what kind of man the President-elect is. He’s said himself that he’s scarcely changed since he was a child, and he seems to have been right.

I prefer to look for the bright side...and I do think there is one, here. Some things that have been hidden in the shadows will be coming to light. In the dark places, we couldn’t deal with them. But when they’re brought out in the open, their ugliness will show, and we’ll be able to examine and correct them.

I think it’s going to be a rough road, but we’re going to emerge stronger at the broken places, a more whole and accepting nation at the other end – a nation that truly does have understanding and a place for all of its citizens – red, white, and every other color, every orientation, every religion (or those of us who profess no religion at all).

I hope so.

I don’t want my children to grow up in a country that goes in the opposite direction.

**tucks away soapbox**

Ah….where were we?

Oh, yes. WIPpet Wednesday.
 

We’re back to Ava Garcia  in Sea Changes

Ava grew on me during the writing of her story. She was a constant revelation. Her struggle is compelling. For me, it goes beyond the issue of whether people should be allowed to choose the manner of their death. She encapsulates my personal attitudes about how children deserve to be treated. It’s an honor to share her voice with you!

The premise:

In advocating for a dying girl seeking emancipation from controlling parents, can an overburdened young woman and a lonely young man find a future together?

Note:

This passage has been rough-edited (trust me, you don’t want to see the muddled-beyond-hope original version! My plan is to begin creating a more structured revision plan once the 24 scenes pass through my local crit group (which isn’t happening, at the moment. Post NaNo, I expect to pick up steam for the next few months.)

Your input is gratefully accepted, and might go a long way toward making this a better novel!

Context:

Ava was dreaming of drowning...

WIPpet Math:

  • Today is November 23, 2016

  • I've got 7 paragraphs todayI added the digits of the month and the date: 1+1+2+3=7.

Help!”

“Help!”

Was that pathetic little croak her?

“Easy – easy, Ava. You're having a nosebleed.”

Something familiar in the calm and gentle voice. Something that triggered memory – white blonde hair, palest of blue eyes taking in all the light -

“Donovan? Drowning -”

“Nosebleed.” She didn't realize she was flailing, as though struggling for an unseen surface, until he caught her hands. “Try to be still, and breathe through your mouth, if you can. That's what your medial records say you usually do -”

“Bleed?” But there wasn't really any need to ask; now that she was awake, Ava could taste the blood at the back of her throat.

Is Ava’s nosebleed serious?

Can Donovan help her?

Has she won her freedom too late?

Next week, we’ll learn a little more.

Want more WIPpets? Click the button below, and even add your own date-related excerpt if you're so inclined!

Sometimes, things need to be said. Saying them with respect and kindness can intensify their impact…