This post is part of Linda G.Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday meme -an unedited stream of consciousness piece that ties into the weekly prompt: 'awkward,’ used any way we like. It’s also my contribution to the #weekendcoffeeshare.
Yup, in a stuttering, more-or-less last-minute way, I’m getting back into a rhythm with posting, just this time here on my brand new website. It’s a whole new world, and I still feel more than a little awkward and lost in this great big space...but enough about that.
If we were having coffee, I’d welcome you in with less staring around at the sometimes less than lovely chaos of our lives than I might have done a month or two ago. No, things aren’t spic and span, nor are they likely to be a anytime soon. But there’s a shabby kind of glow to the place, something that always seems to happen at the change of seasons.
It’s a blessing and a grace note in an otherwise awkward transitional phase. With the weather going through marked changes, with my kids growing what seems to be literally before my eyes, with our social needs and interests in flux, with the rhythm of life speeding up in some ways, but slowing down in others.
It’s a little awkward when some parts of life are expanding, while others are deepening. I feel like all of my life is breathing, inhaling and exhaling…
I’ve set aside my September goals. I finished some, left others untouched, but moved the bulk of them forward in some way. For October, the pace will overall be slower, but there will be bouts of intensity – I’ll be writing a poem every day, I’ll also be revising three stories for submission in three different anthologies. Not a lot of money, but only first rights given, so they’ll be polished up for me to self-publish. It’s a good way to get my own first short-story collection polished up and world-ready, without the sometimes crushing magnitude of writing stories for my own book. By the end of the month, I should have five short stories polished and ready to be fine-tuned. That might be enough for a collection, but, even if it isn’t, it won’t be far from it, which means I’ll be well on my way.
There is a certain awkwardness to this type of thing. Where I am in my writing, with so many things closing in on the next threshold. I’m almost there in many ways – closer to 50 than 40; closer to having a grown son and daughter than children; closer to being the sustainable self-published writer I want to be than to being the “pipe-dreaming” teenager with fantasies of writing the next runaway best-seller, and changing the world in the process.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you this: It’s awkward, but then, growth often is.
I see you’ve finished about half of your cup there. Can I offer you a mandarin orange, or some delicious fair trade dark chocolate? I haven’t tried the salted almond yet, but the orange was quite tasty – just the right amount of not-too-sweet for my sweet coffee.
I’ve talked about my life a bit – now it’s your turn. What are you doing? Do you feel a certain awkward grace at the turn of the season? Are you expanding, deepening, or both?
Did you enjoy this dip into the Stream of Consciousness waters? Come join in – there's plenty of room, and just a few simple rules.